Divorce Court
by StarDaze18
Summary: SHORT CH 5 UP. Thought I'd try a drama fic...a friends couple in divorce court ...(Romance part comes later) please R&R!!
1. A Judge's Wisdom

I'm Back! Tee-Hee. This is based on a random idea I've been thinking about for awhile and finally decided to get it out of my head. Number of Friends I own: zero. Number of Friends I wish I owned: six. Here we go.

Divorce Court

Scene: The back room of a courthouse. We see a judge getting ready to go out.

Judge's thoughts - I've never really enjoyed this job. Sure, I'd like to bring justice to the world my convicting criminals and sending bank robbers to jail, but I didn't make the cut. So I'm stuck in divorce court, helping arguing old couples work out who gets the house, the kids, the car, and even the dog. I have to tell you, this really sucks.

He walks out into the courtroom and observes the scene.

Thoughts – Wow, what a shame. A couple as young as this. They can't have been married for more than a couple years. You always have to wonder what goes on in these kids' heads. Oh well. Gotta do my job.

The judge sits behind the podium and nods to the observers. "Be seated." They all sit down quietly. 

He looks at the couple, wondering what went wrong in their marriage. The woman on his right was pretty, but looked like she wasn't afraid of hard work. She stared straight in front of her, a look of apprehension on her face, as if she wasn't sure what was going to happen. She glanced uneasily at her lawyer, then shifted her chair slightly away from him.

On the judge's left sat her soon-to-be-ex husband. He would not make eye contact with anyone, and had an emotional look on his face, as if he wasn't sure he wanted to be here. His lawyer, who the judge knew had just left law school, smirked across the aisle at the woman's lawyer.

The judge observed the others in the room. Behind the woman sat another couple, married still, the judge noted from the identical rings on their left hands. They were smiling weakly at the woman, no doubt reassuring her and showing support. The judge quietly thanked them for that – He had had many come in alone and break down in tears.

Behind the man sat another couple, this time with no rings. They were glancing at each other and then at the man, worried. What were they thinking? The judge sighed and looked around the room.

Court typewriter, all ready. Check.

Police officer standing on his right. Check. 

Witnesses. The two couples? Check. 

Two lawyers, one man and one woman, glaring at each other. This was no doubt more of a personal battle for them than a battle for their clients. The judge sighed again. He knew he shouldn't say it, but he sometimes hated lawyers. 

And of course, the feuding couple. What, the judge wondered, could have possessed this young couple to fall in love and get married, and then file for divorce?

Oh well. Time to begin.

"Welcome," he said abruptly. "We are here to witness and determine the divorce case of Geller versus Geller."

TBC

The next chapters will be clearer, I promise! For you R&R supporters, don't get mad, everything will turn out okay, I promise! (Ross and Rachel fic? You think? Heck yeah!) please Please PLEASE review and tell me what you think…is it good? Does it suck? Is it worth continuing? Please let me know!


	2. Phoebe At the Stand

Hey, sorry for the wait! This chapter is kind of short (and bad), so I apologize for that as well. Just review and tell me how I can make it better! Thank you!

Chapter 2

"Now," the judge said crisply, staring down at all of them. "What are the grounds for this divorce?"

The woman's lawyer, Mark Robinson, stood. "Your Honor, my client feels that the marriage was a mistake. She and Mr. Geller are unable to get along."

The judge frowned. "Is this true, Mrs. Geller?"

Mrs. Geller fidgeted nervously. "Well, yes, I guess so. I mean, we do fight a lot, and we sometimes have trouble making the marriage work, but I wouldn't call it a mistake."

Mr. Geller's lawyer, Sarah Francis, jumped up. "Your Honor, my client feels that this marriage should end now. He insists that he and his wife made an error and need to now correct it."

"Um, that's not completely true," Mr. Geller said. "We are ending it, but I don't see any huge errors in our past."

"Very well," the judge sighed. "In that case, Mrs. Francis, you may call up your first witness."

"Thank you," she smiled. "I call Miss Phoebe Buffay to the stand."

The woman sitting behind Mr. Geller stood up and made her way to the front of the room. She wore a long skirt and had long, pale hair. A free spirit, the judge thought. His favorite type of person.

"Miss Buffay, do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"Yeah, sure, but can I ask you something? Why God? Why not, I don't know, Satan. Or Zeus?"

"Have a seat, Miss Buffay." Shrugging, she sat.

"Now, Miss Buffay," began Francis.

"Yeah, could you please call me Phoebe? I don't like going by my last name. It reminds me of my father, and how he abandoned me when I was a kid, leaving me with a suicidal moth-"

"Certainly, Phoebe," interrupted Francis. "Now, Phoebe, how long have you known Ross and Rachel Geller?"

"Oh, a long, long time," Phoebe answered. "I've known Ross since Monica moved in, like, twenty years ago, and I've known Rachel for almost as long as that."

"And you have observed their relationship through these years?"

"Oh, don't even get me started on that," laughed Phoebe. "It's way complicated, the breakups, marriages, divorces, all that crap."

"And you have witnessed the fact that they have indeed been unhappy?"

"Actually, no," Phoebe admitted. "I'm probably not the best witness for this case, because they always seemed perfectly happy to me. Most of the time." She laughed. "There was one time I remember…"

FLASHBACK, 5 YEARS AGO

Phoebe (voiceover) – Ross gave Rachel this surprise birthday party. She was so happy…then, they went off alone, and he talked to her…

Ross and Rachel ran across the street to Central Park, laughing their heads off. "Ross, wait up! I can't run in heels!"

"Come on! We're going to miss it!" he called back, laughing.

"Miss what," she called.

"Look." He stopped suddenly, staring at a fireworks show that had began above them.

"Oh, Ross!" Rachel looked delighted. "They're beautiful! Thank you!" She hugged him, and they began to laugh again.

"Look up," Ross murmured into her hair.

"Why?" Rachel looked up. There, written in fireworks, were the words, I LOVE YOU, RACHEL. "Ross! I don't believe you!" She hugged him tighter, unable to stop smiling. "I can't remember when I've ever been this happy."

PRESENT

"They told us the story later," Phoebe explained. "It was so sweet. Ross was always doing things like that, and Rachel loved it."

Mr. and Mrs. Geller looked across the aisle and locked eyes for a brief moment. Both looked away quickly, but you could see them remembering.

"No further questions, Your Honor," stated Francis, looking upset. After all, she hadn't been able to get anything helpful out of Phoebe.

"Thank you. Mr. Robinson, you may proceed."

"Thank you, Your Honor. Miss Buffay-"

"PHOEBE. Lawyers never listen, do they?"

"Sorry. Phoebe. You stated previously that Mr. Geller always did extravagant things for Mrs. Geller, correct?"

"Yeah, I said that. See? Never listen."

"And these things cost a considerable amount of money, correct?"

"I guess they must have. Ross didn't care, though. Rachel was that important to him."

"So you might say Mr. Geller tried to buy the marriage?"

Phoebe stared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"You don't think that Mr. Geller kept Mrs. Geller in an unhappy marriage by buying her things and performing stunts such as the one you described?"

"OBJECTION!" yelled Ross and Rachel at the same time.

The judge looked at them, surprised. "Mr. Geller, I am surprised at your outburst."

"How dare he suggest that!" Ross was clearly furious. "I would never do a thing like that! If Rachel didn't want the marriage, I would have never forced her into it!"

"And Mrs. Geller? It isn't possible to object to your own lawyer."

"Even if I don't agree with what he's saying?" Rachel snapped. "I wanted this marriage as much as Ross did. To say that Ross might have tried to push me into it – it's not true!"

The judge shrugged calmly. "Fine. Objection sustained. Mr. Robinson, please continue."

"Yes Your Honor." Robinson paced back and forth. Unable to think of anything to say, he lamely continued, "So, in your opinion, Mr. and Mrs. Geller were always perfectly happy."

"Yeah. Like I said," Phoebe replied. "You should really work on those listening skills."

Robinson sighed. "No further questions, Your Honor."

"Thank you. Miss- er, Phoebe. You may step down."

"Lobsters," Phoebe mumbled as she stepped out of the box. 

"Pardon?" the judge questioned, startled.

"Ross and Rachel. Lobsters. This whole divorce thing is a big mistake." She glared at the Gellers and walked back to her seat. Mr. Geller looked at his hands. Mrs. Geller shut her eyes tightly.

"Very well. Next witness is…" The judge examined the papers before him and laughed. "I'm sorry, it's just- oh. Chandler Bing."

Mr. Bing stepped forward. ""Ha-ha. Very funny, Richie."

TBC

Sorry if this Chapter fell a little flat, I wrote it in kind of a hurry. My birthday was a few days ago, and I wanted to get this up really quickly, so…yeah. If the court talk is messed up, sorry. All I know about is what I've seen in movies. PLEASE REVIEW!! Thank you all!


	3. Chandler Speaks Up

**I put some stuff in this chapter before that was incorrect, so now I'm reposting it! Just so we're all clear**

Hey! So sorry for the wait, I had finals two weeks ago, then I went out of town for a week and didn't even have access to a TV or a phone, let alone a computer. But anyway, I'll skip all my usual crap, except to thank everyone who's reviewed! By the way, this Richard has NO connection with Richard Burke (the big tree).

Chapter 3

"Richie?" said the judge, amused. "Oh, no no. That's Honorable Richard Stevenson to you, Mr. Bing."

"Yeah, but I happen to know about your job before you became a judge," replied Mr. Bing, grinning wickedly. "Through my father." The judge froze.

"Mr. Bing, what are you going on about," snapped Francis. "Let's get on with the questioning!"

"You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Richie," Mr. Bing continued, obviously enjoying himself. "You worked with my father. You were a member of my father's show. In Vegas."

"What are you talking about?" asked Robinson. "What show is this?"

"Don't say it," hissed the judge.

"My father's all-male gay burlesque show in Las Vegas," stated Mr. Bing triumphantly. "Yeah, I remember you. You played the houseboy in my father's favorite skit. You sang the lead in 'I Like Boys'. You wore a purple sparkly dress." The stunned courtroom burst out laughing.

"Yes yes," the judge said, rolling his eyes. "I was young and desperate for money, now for God's sake, can we PLEASE get on with the case!"

"Of course, your Honor," said Francis, hiding a smile. "Now, Mr. Bing," she began. "How long have YOU known Mr. and Mrs. Geller?"

"I've known Ross and Rachel since college," said Mr. Bing, shrugging. "Ever since Ross, my roommate at the time, took me to his house for Thanksgiving, where I met my wife, Monica, and Rachel, who Ross was still completely in love with at the time."

"Yes, Ms. Buffay has stated that you have known Ross and Rachel since college," said Francis.

"PHOEBE!!" hollered Ms. Buffay.

"Silence," snapped the judge, banging his gavel. "Continue."

"Yes, Your Honor. Mr. Bing, have Mr. and Mrs. Geller always seemed happy to you?"

"Of course," Mr. Bing replied. "They were Mike and Carol Brady without the cheesy haircuts. They were the perfect couple."

"And yet," Francis said, "Something went wrong."

"I guess so," Mr. Bing acknowledged.

"Mr. Bing, in your opinion, was Mrs. Geller perhaps having…an affair?" questioned Francis, grinning evilly.

"Your honor, that is irrelevant, I object," Robinson called.

"It is perfectly relevant, Mr. Robinson," the judge said calmly. "Overruled."

"Well, Mr. Bing?" Francis looked delighted with herself.

"No," stated Mr. Bing. "No, no, no. Rachel would never do that to Ross. Not in a billion years."

Mrs. Geller smiled gratefully at her friend, and in turn glared at Francis. Mr. Geller looked furious with his lawyer.

"Are you sure?" asked Francis, unaware that, if looks could kill, she would have been murdered twice. "There was never a time when anything seemed suspicious to you?"

"Nope," said Mr. Bing. "They were the happiest couple ever. I remember the time they got engaged…

FLASHBACK, 4 YEARS AGO

"Ross, what is it?" laughed Rachel. "Where are you taking me?"

"Calm down, we're almost there."

"Almost where? Ross, you know I hate being blindfolded, just let me see!"

"We're here!" Ross looked around proudly and took off Rachel's blindfold. "There you are."

"Ross, I…" Rachel looked around, speechless. They were back at the planetarium. The room was filled with beautiful white flowers, and there was a blanket sitting out with a bottle of wine and two glasses. "Oh Ross, it's so beautiful! I don't know what to say…"

"A simple, 'I love you' would be nice," Ross joked.

Rachel smiled and threw her arms around him. "I love you!" Ross laughed.

"Come sit down," he urged. They sat, and he filled the glasses. They toasted and drank. "How about some stars?" Ross asked.

"That would be perfect," Rachel smiled.

Ross stood up and walked over to the control booth, switching on the "star" button. The ceiling was instantly filled with them.

"Oh, I forgot how beautiful they were!" gasped Rachel happily. "I can even see the constellations! Look, this one looks like…" she looked closer, not believing the words the stars seemed to spell out. RACHEL, WILL YOU MARRY ME? "Ross!" she gasped. "Really?"

"Really," Ross said. "Rachel, we've been together for two years now, not counting the many times we were together before that. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me, Rachel?" He got down on one knee.

Rachel smiled through the tears streaming down her cheeks. "Of course!"

PRESENT

"And that was it," smiled Mr. Bing. "It was official. As inseperable as they were before, they were pretty much glued together from that point on."

Francis paused a moment, looking around the courtroom. She caught Mr. Geller's eye, and he glared at her again. She looked back at Mr. Bing and, clearly desperate for words, stammered, "So…you're, um, absolutely positive that, er, Mrs. Geller, was not having an affair during the period in which she was, um, married to, uh, Mr. Geller?"

"Yup. Absolutely positive," Mr. Bing replied cheerfully. "No doubts."

"Fine," Francis snapped. Then, quickly regaining control, added, "No further questions, Your Honor."

"Thank you," the judge said as Francis took her seat, noticing that Mr. Geller quite obviously scooted his chair away from her. "Mr. Robinson, your witness."

"Thank you, Your Honor," replied Robinson, jumping out of his chair. "Mr. Bing, I-"

"Yeah, actually, call me Chandler, would you," Mr. Bing said, unable to hide the grin on his face. "I'm with my friend Phoebe, all this 'mister' stuff creeps me out."

"Fine," said Robinson, clearly annoyed. "Chandler. You stated that you were absolutely certain that my client was not having an affair during her marriage." Mrs. Geller rolled her eyes.

"Well, is your client my friend Rachel?" Robinson did not answer Mr. Bing's query, he merely stared. "Oh. Okay, yes I did then."

"Good," said Robinson, beginning to pace. "But are you willing to make the same statement about her husband, Ross Geller?"

"Oh, God," muttered Mrs. Geller, now clearly furious with both lawyers. Mr. Bing's wife, sitting behind her, put a hand on her shoulder, warning her not to say anything.

"Hmm, let me think about that," Chandler mocked. "Um, heck yeah. You saying that Ross would cheat on Rachel is stupider than whoever said the moon was made of cheese. And that's really saying something."

"Really?" said Robinson. "What would you say if I told you that I could prove it?"

"I'd tell you that you had highly critical sanity problems," Mr. Bing replied. "Might I also add that you are supposed to stop the Q-tip when you feel resistance?" He paused and looked around. "Hey, I know I've used that one before, but I just liked it so much…"

"Well, we'll see about that later," Robinson said smugly. "No further questions, Your Honor."

"I do!" Mr. Geller had sprung angrily to his feet. "What kind of proof is the crap weasel talking about?"

"You'll find out later, Mr. Geller," said Robinson, walking happily to the back of his seat and leaning back in it. Mrs. Geller, unable to scoot her chair any further away, settled on turning her head away from her lawyer.

"Mr. Geller, Mr. Robinson, please stop talking," the judge commanded. "Mr. Robinson, you will bring in your 'proof' later, I assume."

"Of course, Your Honor," Robinson said smoothly. "When the moment's right."

Mrs. Geller, whipped her head around to look questioningly at Mr. Bing's wife, who merely shrugged. Mr. Geller turned to Ms. Buffay and her companion, who could do nothing but stare at him.

"Fine," the judge said irritably. "We will now proceed to the next witness. You may sit down, Mr. Bing."

"That's all, folks," Mr. Bing said brightly as he walked back to his seat.

"Our next witness," continued the judge, leafing through his papers, "is Mr. Joey Tribbiani."

TBC

Well, it's about time. PLEASE review and tell me what you thought, I don't care if you fell asleep or felt like killing yourself reading it, tell me! Although I would prefer a happy one…


	4. Money?

Okay, new chapter time! I know it's been a really long time since I've updated, I'm sorry! Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! You are all awesome! If you've actually read this far and haven't reviewed…please!?!?!

Money?

Mr. Tribianni approached the stand calmly, head high, shoulders back, with a haughty look on his face. He said the oath in a grave voice, then turned to the lawyer.

"Mr. Tribianni, you have known Mr. and Mrs. Geller for roughly the same amount of time as your friend Ms. Buffay, correct?" Francis began.

"Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe," Ms. Buffay whispered from her place behind Mr. Geller, singing softly to herself.

"I have," answered Mr. Tribianni gravely.

"And I suppose they have always seemed just as happy to you as they have to PHOEBE and Mr. Bing?"

"But of course," said Mr. Tribianni. "They were incredibly content with their everyday routine known as life. Life is so short, you should live every day as if there were no tomorrow. And then tomorrow comes, and you've wasted another day."

Mr. Bing whispered urgently to Robinson, who nodded. "Your Honor, Mr. Bing here would like to apologize for giving the witness quote-of-the-day toilet paper."

"What does that have to do with the case?" snapped the judge irritably.

"Absolutely nothing, Your Honor, he just wouldn't leave me alone," Robinson replied.

"Very well. Continue with the witness, Ms. Francis."

"Thank you, Your Honor." She turned to Mr. Tribianni. "So, Mr. Tribianni, I assume that you too will verify the fact that Mr. Geller was indeed not having an affair or buying his marriage to Mrs. Geller."

Mr. Tribianni opened his mouth to answer, then stopped. He appeared confused and lost his confident manner. "Uh, line?"

"Excuse me?" Francis snapped.

"I forgot my line. What is it again?" Mr. Tribianni looked around the room. "Does anyone have a script on them?"

"Mr. Tribianni, why are you calling for a line? This is not the set of some daytime television show," said the judge, rolling his eyes.

"It's not? Aw, man!" whined Mr. Tribianni, now in a completely different mood. "I thought I was on one of those shows! You know, like Judge Judy or the People's Court! Not some crappy untelevised court!"

"That will do, Mr. Tribianni!" said the judge sharply. "Why would you assume that you were on TV?"

"When Chandler said we were gonna be in court, I thought he meant actually IN court," Mr. Tribianni wailed. "Like IN the movie Court or something. But then I got here and I figured, what kind of crackpot would want to make a movie about all the crap we've been talking about all day? It would put the audience to sleep!"

"That's enough. You are not on the set of anything," said the judge. "Didn't you ever wonder why you didn't get a script?"

"I figured it was one of those improv shows," said Mr. Tribianni. "Like Who's Line is it Anyway. Oh! Oh!" He looked around eagerly. "Let's play Props! Can I have the hammer thingie?"

"No, you may NOT have my gavel, and we are going to get on with the case!" shouted the judge, all patience lost. "Ms. Francis! Continue!"

"Yes, Your Honor," said Francis. "Finally. She paced around. "Mr. Tribianni, at which point in time did Mr. and Mrs. Geller's relationship begin to appear to be in jeopardy?"

"What? Why do you keep saying Mr. Tribianni, my dad's not here," said Mr. Tribianni blankly. Obviously not the shiniest rock in the garden, now that his "character" had evaporated. 

"When did Mr. and Mrs. Geller start fighting," said Francis, carefully enunciating each word.

"Oh!" said Mr. Tribianni. "Well…it was about two years ago…no, wait, it was less than that, maybe one and a half years ago. It had been gradual, but the rest of us could see it happening…"

FLASHBACK, 1 ½ YEARS AGO

(M&Cs apartment, everyone is there)

"Okay everybody! Merry Christmas," said Monica as she sank down on the couch next to Chandler. Everybody was smiling and laughing. It was exactly the same as it had been ten years before. It was perfect.

"Yeah! And Happy Kwanza!" added Phoebe.

"Phoebe, you don't celebrate Kwanza," Chandler pointed out.

"What are you saying? I can't celebrate Kwanza? It's discrimination I tell you!" yelled Phoebe.

"Okay Phoebe, calm down," said Ross, looking at his watch. "Oh, shoot! Sorry everyone, I have to go."

"What?" said Rachel, standing up and hurrying after him. "Where are you going? It's ten o'clock at night!"

"I know, sweetie, I'm sorry. I've got a late meeting, and then I have to have to pick up some copies for our presentation tomorrow."

"Ross, come on. It's Christmas Eve," called Monica.

"Yeah, Ross. You're not going to abandon us on Christmas, are you?" asked Rachel, slightly hurt.

"Rach, sometimes your job gets more important than your friends," Ross said.

"I'm your wife," said Rachel quietly. It was a low, dangerous voice, and the other four froze upon hearing it. "I should mean more to you than just a friend. You should be with us on holidays."

"Well Rachel, where were you last Easter?" snapped Ross.

"Hey, you know that trip was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and very important to the company! If I didn't go, I could have lost my job!"

"Well Rach, maybe you shouldn't value your job more than your friends and me," said Ross, using her own words against her.

"Well, if you want to go spend Christmas with a bunch of nerds with no family, I'm not going to stop you," said Rachel coldly.

"Good. I'll go then. Don't wait up."

"Don't worry, I won't."

And, without so much as a glance over his shoulder, Ross left.

PRESENT

"That was like their first main fight," explained Mr. Tribianni. "A bunch more followed after that. It sucked, you know? To see two people who loved each other so much fighting all the time."  
Francis stared at him. "Would you say that Mrs. Geller was being unreasonable in her demands for her husband to be at home?" she asked.

"Oh, no," replied Mr. Tribianni. "And I'm sure Ross wouldn't either." He grinned, knowing that he had her. Her only way to get out of this would be to call Ross up to the stand and ask, and even then, she knew what the answer would be.

"Fine." Francis turned to the judge. "No further questions, Your Honor."

"Mr. Robinson, your witness," said the judge.

"Thank you, Your Honor," he said, popping up. "Mr. Tribianni, may I ask you to refer to your flashback?" 

"Sure, I guess," said Mr. Tribianni.

"If the court recalls, you stated that Mr. Geller had to pick up some copies," said Robinson. "Is that correct?"

"That's what he said," nodded Mr. Tribianni.

"Excellent." Robinson smiled. "Your Honor, I think it's time for me to bring in my proof."

"Certainly," said the judge, bored. "After Mr. Robinson's proof, we will have the final witness-"

"Ooh! I know! I know!" Said Mr. Tribianni excitedly. "It's Monica! She's the only one left! It has to be her! We're Money!"

"Excuse me?" said the judge.

"See, if you take the first letters of Monica's name and the last letters of my name," explained Mr. Tribianni, "It spells money! Isn't it cool? Phoebe said that it means that if Monica and I got married, we would be really rich. But too bad, 'cause she married Chandler instead." The judge sighed impatiently. "I know!" continued Mr. Tribianni. "What was she thinking? Anyway, we could have actually hooked up, but when she came to the hotel room in London, I was off doing it with some bridesmaid, so she slept with Chandler instead, and they ended up together. But if I had been there, I bet we would have-"

"Mr. Tribianni is correct, the final witness will be Mrs. Monica Geller-Bing," said the judge loudly, talking over Mr. Tribianni. "She will take the stand after Mr. Robinson delivers his proof."

"Yes Your Honor," smirked Robinson. He walked to the back of the room and opened the door. In walked his proof.

TBC

Ha! Left you hangin'! That's okay, you probably already guessed what the proof is, anyways. Ah well, PLEASE leave a review, and I will try to update much quicker this time, I promise!


	5. Proof

**SHORT!** **SHORT**!  Ha! Told you I'd update quicker! To answer some questions, okay, Exintaris's comments, I realize that Ross having a presentation on Christmas Day is weird, but oh well. They had to fight about something, didn't they? And what I meant was the MON in Monica and they EY in Joey, I know it wasn't very clear, sorry 'bout that!

Proof

He walked to the back of the room and opened the door. In walked his proof. She walked all the way up to the front and took her seat on the witness stand.

"State your name for the record, please."

"Chloe." (AN: Sorry Lindsey!)

"Last name?"

"Oh, I don't even use last names anymore. I just change them every time I relocate anyway." Chloe smiled at the court.

"Good," said Robinson. "Now, Chloe, you told me that you slept with Mr. Geller, is that correct?"

"Yes."

A gasp went up inside the courtroom. Ms. Buffay and Mr. Tribianni stared at Mr. Geller, stunned. Mr. Bing had a very confused look on his face, and Mrs. Bing leaned forward to whisper to Mrs. Geller. Mrs. Geller had a look of complete shock and pain on her face. Mr. Geller, for his part, looked as though he could not believe what was unraveling.

"And this occurred on more than one occasion, correct?" asked Robinson, who looked thoroughly delighted with himself.

"Yup. Easily a couple times a week for the past few months," said Chloe easily.

"Chloe, did you realize that Mr. Geller was married?" 

"Nope. He never told me."

"There you have it," Robinson said loudly. "Mr. Geller has been having an affair with this woman, who, incidentally, works at the copy place he traveled to on Christmas Eve. This grounds Mrs. Geller to a large divorce settlement and property ownership, including the couple's vehicle. Ross Geller cheated and comes out with nothing!"

"Hey, wait a sec," called Chloe. Robinson turned to look at her. "Did you say ROSS Geller?"

"Yes," replied Robinson carefully.

"I thought you asked about RUSS Geller!" exclaimed Chloe. "Yeah, you asked if I'd been sleeping with a guy whose last name was Geller, and I said yeah, Russ Geller, and you dragged me in here!" (AN: Yeah, like I would make Ross cheat on Rachel. Not gonna happen, guys!)

Mrs. Geller looked at her lawyer, furious, which was nothing compared to the look on Mr. Geller's face. "Permission to speak!" He yelled finally.

"Go ahead. This can't possibly get any more chaotic," granted the judge.

"How DARE you try to accuse me of cheating on my wife! I could have never, ever done that to her, and most everyone in this court knows it! I love her too much for that!" Mrs. Geller looked startled as Mr. Geller continued. "I'm going to smash your face into a pulp, you…"

"Oh look, I was wrong," muttered the judge. "Mr. Geller, please restrain yourself. Mr. Robinson, by law, as a result of deliberately trying to frame a client, you are asked to leave the court and let Mrs. Geller handle the case herself. Chloe, if you will please leave with him." As the two walked out, he added, "I imagine this is quite a burden off of you, considering you have not been sleeping with a married man."

"Actually, I have. He told me last night," Chloe confessed. "He's married to some Julie chick." Then they left.

"NOW can we please have Mrs. Monica Geller-Bing come up?"

TBC

Yeah, short chapter, I know. I just didn't really want to combine the two. And I know that Russ's last name wouldn't be Geller also, but hey, it works. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Bye now!


	6. Divorces, Divorces

And here's chapter six! Or maybe five. Depends on whether or not you count the prologue. Okay, shutting up! Thank you so much for all the reviews, you guys are so awesome! Here you go!

Divorces, Divorces

Mrs. Geller-Bing walked slowly up to the stand and took her oath quietly. She turned and faced Francis, who looked delighted at the fact that her opponent had been expelled from the courtroom.

"Mrs. Bing, you've known Mr. and Mrs. Geller for almost your whole life, longer that any of your friends, correct?" Francis asked.

"Yes," answered Mrs. Bing quietly. "I've known Ross my whole life, him being my older brother, and Rachel and I have been best friends since I was six. We grew up together."

"And were you happy when they got together?"

"Of course!" said Mrs. Bing. "It was like a dream come true. My best friend and my brother. I loved seeing them together. Then they broke up, and I was so sad. We all were, but especially me. I always thought that they would get married, and that Rachel and I would be sisters, just like we always talked about." She paused. "There were times when I thought they were going to get back together, but they never did. And when they finally did, they got married, and that was it. Or so we thought. It was it, until the night Rachel told me they were getting a divorce."

FLASHBACK, A FEW MONTHS BEFORE

M&C's house, empty. Someone knocks on the door.

"Coming!" Monica walked through the living room and opened the door. "Rachel?"

"Monica." Rachel was soaking wet, but she didn't seem to notice, or care. There were tears streaming down her cheeks. "Can I come in?"

"Of course!" Monica said immediately. "What's the matter?"

Rachel walked in and sat on the couch. Any other time Monica would have cringed at the thought of her couch getting wet, but she was too concerned about Rachel to worry. "Ross and I are getting divorced."

"What?!?!" Monica was shocked. Sure, they had a few problems, but what couple didn't? Even she and Chandler had been through counseling. "But…you can't! What happened?"

"We argued for hours," Rachel wailed. "I told him that I was sick of him being at work all day, every day, and that if he cared about us, he would take more time off. He said that if I cared I would let him do his job, and that he didn't need to be around twenty-four seven. Then I said that if we both wanted different things, maybe we shouldn't be together. That's when I started to cry. Then he said that maybe we shouldn't. Then I left." She started to cry again. "I don't want to divorce, Mon. I love him."

"Oh, sweetie!" Monica hugged her. "You guys can work it out! I know you can! If you don't want to divorce, then don't!"

"No, we were right," said Rachel miserably. "The same conversation will just keep coming up. We want different things, and that's not going to change." She sounded as though she were trying to convince herself.

"Yes, it can! You can do it!" Monica urged. Just then, the phone rang, and Monica jumped up to grab it. "Hello?"

"Is she there?" It was Ross.

"Yeah. Ross, don't be such an idiot! Don't divorce, just try and work things out!"

"Monica, please don't start. Just let me talk to Rachel. Please."

"Fine." Monica turned around. "Rach, it's him. Do you want to talk?"

"Can you put it on speaker? I don't feel like getting up," Rachel said softly. Monica obliged.

"Rachel?"

"It's me," she said quietly. "What do you want?"

"Rachel, please! I was stupid to agree with you! I don't want to divorce! Please! We can work this out! Just come home! Please!"

"It won't work, Ross," Rachel replied, crying again. "It'll just happen again. We were right. Maybe we would be better off apart."

"No, we wouldn't!" Ross insisted. "We can work through this! I'll take more time off! Heck, I'll quit! Whatever it takes! Just please, come back!" He choked up. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Rachel!"

"Take it off, Monica," Rachel begged. "I can't deal with this." She buried her face in a pillow and cried.

"Monica picked up the receiver. "Look, Ross, she doesn't want to talk right now."

"Monica, talk to her! She might listen to you! Try to convince her not to do this! Please!" Ross sounded desperate. 

"I'll try, but I can't force her to do anything," Monica warned.

"Just try! Please, Monica! I…I can't live without her!" He choked up again. "I love her."

"I know you do, Ross. You know it, I know it, and she knows it. But I can't push her into anything." Then Monica hung up the phone and went to comfort a sobbing Rachel.

PRESENT

"And that was it," Mrs. Bing said quietly. "The end of a long, long era."

Mrs. Geller had her head down and her eyes closed, as though trying to block out what her friend was saying. Mr. Geller looked heartbroken, like he was reliving the moment all over again.

"So you could not convince Mrs. Geller to drop the divorce?"  Francis clarified.

"Well, we're here, aren't we?" said Mrs. Bing bitterly. "I guess not. She was tired of the pain and the fighting."

"Well, there you have it!" said Francis triumphantly. "Mrs. Geller initiated this divorce against her husband's will, not caring about any of the pain and sadness she caused him! She acted heartlessly and callously!"

"Okay, did you not hear what I just said?" asked Mrs. Bing.

"Objection!" yelled Mrs. Geller, jumping to her feet.

"You can't do that," snapped Francis. "You're not a lawyer!"

"Yes Ms. Francis, but her lawyer left the room, and she is therefore entitled to handle her own case," said the judge calmly. "Mrs. Geller?"

"I am SO sick of her walking around and saying I initiated this thing without even thinking about my husband's feelings!" Mrs. Geller raged. "This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, harder even than the first time we broke up! Of course I thought about his feelings! I knew it would be hard! But it was hard on me, too! You don't know! You don't realize that I keep wishing we didn't have to do this! That I haven't laughed in three months! That I've cried myself to sleep every single night!" She broke off, tears running down her cheeks. 

Mr. Bing, Mr. Tribianni, and Ms. Buffay all jumped to their feet, but Mr. Geller was quicker. He instinctively leapt up and ran across the aisle to his soon-to-be-ex-wife and put his arms around her. She cried into his shoulder, not even thinking about where they were or what they were supposed to be doing.

"Mr. Geller, please take your seat," said the judge. "Mrs. Geller, please control yourself. And Ms. Francis, Mrs. Geller has a point. Please stop. Continue."

"Yes, Your Honor," sulked Francis. She turned and faced Mrs. Bing. "Mrs. Bing, I suppose I don't even have to ask. The Gellers always seemed perfectly happy to you, didn't they?"

"Of course," answered Mrs. Bing. "And I don't know anyone who would say otherwise."

"Oh really?" Francis smiled maliciously. "How about them?"

"Them too."

"Let's ask." Francis turned to her client. "Mr. Geller, did you always feel happy in your marriage?"

"Yes," he replied, glaring at her.

"Fine. Mrs. Geller?"

"Of course," said Mrs. Geller.

"Fine," snapped Francis. "That's what you say. But then why are you here?"

"How about you stop pressing them and go back to questioning my wife like you're being paid to do," Mr. Bing said.

"Mr. Bing, please remain silent unless given permission to speak," said the judge.

"Aw man, it's like kindergarten," he whined.

"Finally, Chandler's back with people his own age," said Ms. Buffay.

"You too, Ms. Buffay."

"Mrs. Bing," Francis broke in, "Did Mr. and Mrs. Geller ever have any children?"

"No," said Mrs. Bing. "They tried for awhile, but it never happened. (AN: No Emma!) They probably would have if only they would have stayed married."

"But they didn't," said Francis shortly. "Oh well. You're just the same as your friends and your husband, aren't you? You're convinced they never cheated, they never tried to buy each other out, they were always happy and crazy in love! Is that what you think?" She was getting worked up.

"As a matter of fact, yes," said Mrs. Bing calmly, which she knew would drive it home.

"Damnit people, give me something to work with!" exploded Francis. "Give me the dirt! I can't make these people look like the scum they are otherwise!"

"That will do, Mrs. Francis," said the judge. "Most unfortunately, I now have to expel you too from the courtroom and let your client handle the case on his own."

"What's unfortunate about that?" muttered Mr. Geller. The judge ignored him. 

"Please leave."

"Fine!" She turned, picked up her briefcase and glanced at Mr. Geller. "Good luck with single life. Don't get too happy," she said sarcastically. 

"I doubt it," he snapped at her. She stomped off and turned to Mrs. Geller.

"Have fun with your divorce. Don't hurt his feelings too much," she said in the same tone.

"Like I would," retorted Mrs. Geller.

"Who cares? He's your ex," yelled Francis.

"Not yet," said Mrs. Geller, Mr. Geller, the judge, and the Bings at the same time.

"Yeah, whatever," Francis responded. "So, you really haven't been sleeping with anyone else, huh?"

"Ms. Francis, I asked you to leave!" yelled the judge, finally losing his temper. 

"You know I haven't," Mrs. Geller snapped. "I happen to love my husband." Several people started at her present tense choice of words. Francis turned on her heel and left.

"I thought I'd never get rid of both of them," said the judge, relieved. "All right, Mrs. Bing, you may take your seat. Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you will handle your own case from this point forward. We will continue after a fifteen minute recess, because I need to go and clear my head!" He banged the gavel.

"Thank God!" yelled Mr. Tribianni. "I have to pee SO bad!"

TBC

Man, that whole divorce thing made me sad to write! Oh well, I'm a big girl. I didn't cry. Anyway, please please please review! I think I'll wrap this up in one more chapter, which will hopefully come soon! Thanks! Bye! 


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